Life continues to roll on here in the Keys this winter, and we certainly can’t complain about the mild weather with all the reports of snow, ice, and frigid temperatures up north. We find our days to be busier in this pseudo-early retirement than when we lived a more traditional lifestyle complete with full-time jobs and a sticks and bricks house. January was the first month since we started this little blog in March 2017 that I didn’t post at least one update, so I apologize to anyone anxiously awaiting the next installment (mostly my Grandma!). The month was filled with visitors, and we chose to spend time with those we love while the opportunity existed, and some things naturally fell to the wayside. But before I get too far ahead of myself, let’s take a look at December and one of the more infamous events in the history of the Florida Keys.

The Conch Republic Military Forces celebrated the official end of the Atlantic Basin hurricane season on November 30 with the ceremonial burning of a maritime hurricane warning flag. Held at the USCG Ingham museum ship in Truman Waterfront Park, the event featured speakers from various organizations, fundraising in the form of food sales, happy hour on the museum ship, and the quirky Keys attitude prevalent throughout the island chain. If you’re in Key West at the end of hurricane season, make time to attend the hurricane flag burning ceremony, as it’s a truly unique Keys event with small town camaraderie and typical Conch flair. The event is organized by the Conch Republic Military Forces (CRMF), and now is probably a good time for a bit of explanation. The CRMF are a joint operation comprised of Key West citizens and community leaders on a mission to preserve a sovereign state of mind in the Keys.

The formation of the CRMF was triggered in the 1980s in response to a unique occurrence on the Florida mainland in one of the last towns lying just before the entrance to the Keys. Remember when Key West decided to secede from the Union? Way back on April 18, 1982, the Federal Government decided to place a border patrol roadblock on US 1 (the one and only road leading to and from the Keys) at the Last Chance Saloon in Florida City, just south of Homestead. Typically found only at international border crossings, this roadblock created traffic jams stretching over 19 miles long and delayed travel for hours on a daily basis. Federal agents required United States citizens to verify citizenship and submit to vehicle searches, even though travelers were simply driving within the state of Florida – not entering the US from foreign soil. The tourism industry was just beginning to bloom in Key West, and this seemingly arbitrary “border crossing checkpoint” immediately hampered travelers reaching the Keys, as well as severely impacted residents simply wishing to drive from the islands to the mainland.

Key West officials quickly sprang into action, led by then-mayor Dennis Wardlow. After working his way up through the chief of police, county sheriff, Florida’s State representative, and the governor, Wardlow was unable to find anyone who authorized the roadblock. He eventually contacted US Border Patrol and was simply told the roadblock was “none of his business.” The Florida Keys had essentially become a foreign country in the blink of an eye for as long as the border crossing roadblock would remain in operation. The story quickly spread as the media reported on the “unprecedented action of the Border Patrol setting up a Border Roadblock within the United States itself.” Visitors canceled reservations and travel plans in the wake of the initial block, which created an immediate impact on the tourism industry.

On April 22, Wardlow and other Keys representatives flew to Miami to seek an injunction to remove the roadblock from District Court Judge C. Clyde Atkins. The judge failed to issue the injunction, and as a result the distraught Conchs chose an unlikely course of action. Wardlow announced to the crowd gathered around the Miami courthouse that the Florida Keys would secede from the Union at noon the following day. And so the fledgling Conch Republic government was born, with positions such as the “Secretary of Underwater Affairs” and the formation of the Conch Republic Military Forces.

On the morning of April 23, the Conch Republic flag was proudly and defiantly raised over Key West City Hall. Mayor Wardlow (now Prime Minister of the Conch Republic) issued a declaration of “war” in Clinton Square by breaking a loaf of Cuban bread over the head of a man wearing a US Navy uniform. “If we’re not equal, we’ll get out.” he announced. “It’s as simple as that…big trouble has started in much smaller places than this.”

The Schooner Western Union under command of Captain John Kraus launched into the Key West harbor and attacked the US Coast Guard Cutter Diligence with water balloons, Conch fritters, and stale Cuban bread. Conch Republic citizens on land hurled more culinary ammunition at federal agents, Navy sailors, and Coast Guard personnel attending the announcement. The tongue-in-cheek assault quickly ceased but the display served to make a point. Within one minute of declaring war, Wardlow surrendered to a nearby naval officer and requested $1 billion in foreign aid in compensation for the “long federal siege”.

The Conch Republic obviously never received monetary aid, but the roadblock was quickly and quietly removed thanks to the publicity created by the staged secession and declaration of war. The fiercely independent Conch spirit forged during this time thrives today, and the Conch Republic Military Forces keep the flame alive through community events, fundraisers, and municipal involvement. The hurricane flag burning ceremony is just one of many events during which the Conch Republic forces stand side by side with US Navy and Coast Guard officials in a display of mutual respect and cooperation for the good of all. The Conch Republic Military Forces emphasize that the secession nearly four decades ago should not be viewed as a revolution against the United States, but rather just the opposite, “…a protest against the folly of zealotry resulting in the people of the Florida Keys being literally alienated as Americans.” The Coast Guard vessel “attacked” during the battle was never considered an enemy, but instead a target of opportunity and the group has never considered the Coast Guard anything other than a good friend.

Viewing this event through the lens of the past forty years of history becomes increasingly difficult, yet the ramifications strike poignantly close to home. This may on the surface appear to be an impetuous act by the people of Key West, but imagine what might happen in your state if border crossing checkpoints began appearing today. A simple trip across the Columbia-Wrightsville Bridge over the Susquehanna River in Pennsylvania could become a four-hour ordeal if a checkpoint appeared there overnight. A scenic drive through Vail Pass along I70 in the Colorado Rocky Mountains could become an overnight affair if the government suddenly and inexplicably decided to declare the highway a border crossing. Trying to place yourself in the situation of these Conchs in the early 1980s makes their reaction seem less outrageous and more necessary – making a stand for freedom and protecting a sovereign way of life we all enjoy in the United States. If nothing else, the Conch Republic is an inspirational account of what everyday citizens can do when faced with perceived injustices and a desire to maintain independence.

As is typical around the Keys – specifically Key West – festivals and special events occur on a regular basis. December was certainly no exception, with the hurricane flag burning ceremony ushering in the holiday season. Nearby Stock Island, just a few miles east on US 1, held the annual “I Love Stock Island” festival featuring community events, concerts, and a pig roast competition using the traditional Cuban box method, the “Caja China”.

This roasting method is unique in that a whole pig is inserted in a roasting box and covered with a lid holding lit coals on top. I’m sure you’ve seen pigs roasting on a spit or over a pit of coals, but the Caja China sort of turns the cooking upside down. Cooks add coals to the top as necessary, and occasionally remove the lid to peek inside and check the progress of the pig. Four different contestants entered the inaugural competition this year, and attendees paid $5 in exchange for samples from each contestant and a golden coin token. I (along with nearly everyone else) had multiple samples just to be sure which contestant was the favorite. After you finished sampling and decided which was best, you voted by placing your coin in the bucket of your favorite contestant. The samples ranged from heavily spiced and sauced, to more basic and simple presentations that allowed the true flavor of the pork to shine. All were very good, but my personal favorite was lightly seasoned with tender, fatty pork, and shatteringly crisp skin. The skin was definitely the star of the show, providing a shockingly crisp counterpoint to the soft pork. Almost two months later, I still get hungry from the fond memory of that amazingly good pork.

We once again attended the Lighted Boat Parade around the Schooner Wharf area in Key West, the same event we witnessed early in our arrival for our first winter here in 2017. Competitors decorate seagoing vessels of all shapes and sizes hoping to win one of the cash prizes with their attempts. We wandered up to the rooftop alcove above Waterfront Brewery to meet friends and watch the boats float through the harbor. The rooftop area is only open for special events, and we never even knew it existed since we never had a reason to walk up the stairs in the brewery. It’s a great place to view the harbor, but you might have to nudge your way to the front of the crowd lining the roof if you want to glimpse the lighted boats in December. With live music and the view of the parade, the rooftop bar at Waterfront was a popular venue that night. They do accept reservations for tables upstairs during the event, but unlike many of the other restaurants along the harbor with prime viewing areas, reservations aren’t required and parade viewers could freely walk up the stairs at Waterfront.

The little community that we call home for the winter organized another lighted bike parade on Christmas eve, and riders from all over the neighborhood gathered for an evening of caroling and spreading Christmas cheer. Ashley decided she wanted to work part-time at the Geiger Key Marina just down the road from us because she recognizes and acknowledges her tendency for hermit-like behavior. She’s content to focus most of her energy on growing the Meandering Stitcher business and designing more patterns, but she knows she can easily be consumed by solitary activities. So working at the marina is sort of a mandatory socialization break that she enjoys. She was scheduled to work the evening of the bike ride, but I showed up at the marina with all the other riders and we pushed our lighted rides through the open air restaurant for everyone to see. This is one of the few places I can think of where a mass of revelers can show up in costumes and on lighted bikes, parade through a restaurant, and not be kicked out by management – quite the opposite, in fact, as our presence was actually welcomed and encouraged. Plus, Ashley got to be part of it even if she wasn’t riding along.

While Ashley continues with her pursuits, I seek out opportunities to play music as much as possible. From a recurring solo sax gig during Sunday morning brunch at the marina, to open mic nights, and even occasional paid shows with other musicians, I’ve definitely been more involved musically this winter than I have been in probably the last ten years. I rang in the New Year playing with singer/guitarist Zach Lovering at Tonio’s on Summerland Key to an appreciative crowd. I’m not a strong singer, but I’ve occasionally stepped up to the mic on Wednesday nights to croak out a few tunes. Ashley’s focus on pattern design and brand development has started to bear fruit, as her most recent pattern hit a personal milestone for sales in early January. We seek to find balance in our daily lives between personal improvement – whether that’s health and fitness, business development, or skill refinement – and recreation, including fishing (of course), sightseeing, and communing with others. Writing may have taken a backseat in January but that’s all part of remaining flexible and identifying what truly brings meaning to our lives. But don’t worry – the next update won’t take another month. See you soon and stay warm to all our friends and family up north!

SOURCES
I used the following links for details on the “secession” of 1982 and the story of the Conch Republic Military Forces. Check them out if you’d like more information.

1 – https://medium.com/war-is-boring/key-west-declared-a-faux-war-on-the-united-states-in-1982-f2c40b429e75
2 – http://www.conchrepublicmilitaryforces.com/history/index.html